“I can’t believe she showed up.” A middle-aged woman whispered spitefully about an unknown “she” to her companion in between sips of chardonnay. From head to toe she was a walking talking Louis Vuitton ad. Never in my life had I seen so many red soles in one room.

I was in housewife heaven. The Countess, LuAnn de Lesseps, stood towering in the middle of the room greeting her guests with grace and poise. Her gold-sequined dress shimmered through her champagne glass as she made rounds. The mood in the bar was nowhere near as tense as I had prepared myself for, knowing that just a few blocks away Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan were hosting their own premiere party.

“I will not be attending Ramona and Sonja’s party because I’m an honorary chair tonight at the Fred and Adele Astaire awards.” Ms. de Lesseps confided. “Ramona told me she didn’t even know I was hosting a party tonight.”

I was waiting for Ms. Singer to jump out from behind the bar and start defending herself. Andy Cohen would bust in and an impromptu reunion would take place in the middle of Lantern’s Keep. A boy can dream, right? The Countess started talking to us about her single “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” as if I didn’t know every word to the song. Waiters circled the small space offering hors d’oeuvres and glasses of champagne. A small camera crew filming for Bravo shadowed the Countess.

—The Observer - Velvet Roper